Could Have, Would Have

In the last 12 months, I have dated a couple of guys and I liked a handful of them.  I mean, ok na sana, may konting hindi lang ako gusto sa kanila. Definitely they're all above 30, smell good, Oral Boys (ahaha), nice and financially stable so swak na swak in those departments.

One guy I dated is from Pasig and it's like 2,000 miles away from Alabang, riiiight?  (Bongga... MILES pa talaga nagamit ko instead of KILOMETERS).  Well, the traffic from here to there makes it really far anyway.  Plus he's super tall and I'm not comfortable hanging out with tall guys for an obvious reason, riiiiiiight?

And then there's this guy from Makati who's so involved with his business, I dont think he can find time for me.  Naks.  assuming naman akez!  Sayang, he's cute pa naman.  And Makati is still not Alabang, riiiiiight? Ok fine.  Hindi ako matyagang mag drive.  Ako na!  LOL.  And then there's this guy from Dasmariñas Cavite who's only 30 minutes away from alabang and I really believe we connected somehow but for some reason, maybe I was too lazy to, we didn't keep in touch.   Just occasional hellos and flirtings tapos yun na.   I liked several other guys too but I'm just too lazy to make  kwento about them.

And now I learn that all of these men that I dated and actually liked are now in a relationship.  Nope, I'm not bitter.  I'm just wondering paano kung sinagot ko sila.  Magiging ok kaya ako?  Or another cycle of "in love" tapos "steady" tapos "bored" tapos yun na.  Especially this Cavite guy who I still think about.  And for once I'm going to admit that I'm peanut butter and jealous of them. Ahaha!  :-)

Don't get me wrong. The past year of single blessedness was good.  I met new friends from my area and I've kept up my friendship with the nice guys.  There are still good people on Grindr, ya know.  LOL!  I have feelings for 2 friends but it's nothing serious or psychotic (LOL!) and I'm afraid to let them know.   Keri lang.  No big deal.   I'm not desperate naman to get into a relationship.

So fuck, what am I driving at?

I guess my point lang is, yes, I'm jealous.  And I'm wishing the boy from Cavite pursued me.  And  shit, I still don't know if I can handle another commitent.  I'm just always wishing for good thoughts.

:-/

Sabaw utak ko maaaaan.